Get ready to laugh your strings off as we dive into a collection of funny guitar jokes. Whether you’re a seasoned guitarist or just someone who enjoys a good chuckle, these jokes are sure to strike a chord with you. From fretful puns to electrifying one-liners, we’ve gathered the funniest quips and gags that are bound to tickle your funny bone. So, grab your pick, tune in, and let’s strum and chuckle your way through this hilarious list of guitar jokes!
Guitar Jokes About Just Trying to Make a Living
Q: What is the difference between a savings bond and a guitarist?
A: Eventually a savings bond will mature and earn money!
Q: How do you get a guitar player off your porch?
A: Pay for the pizza!
Q: How do you get a million dollars?
A: Start with 2 million and try to make a living playing the guitar!
Q: What do you call a guitarist after his girlfriend dumps him?
A: Homeless.
Q: What’s the difference between a large pizza and a guitarist?
A: A large pizza can feed a family!
Guitar Jokes About Band Mates
Q: What’s black and blue and lying in a ditch?
A: A guitarist that told too many drummer jokes!
A man asks the devil: “How much does it cost to be the greatest guitar player in the world?”
The devil says: “Give me your soul.”
The man asks: “What can I get for a dollar?”
Devil: “You can be the greatest bass player in the world.”
Q: How does the singer in a band change a light bulb?
A: They just hold it and wait for the world to revolve around them.
Q: Why don’t bass players tell blonde jokes?
A: They don’t understand them!
Q: What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?
A: A bass player!
Guitar Jokes About Jazz Guitarists
Q: What is the difference between a rock guitarist and a jazz guitarist?
A: One plays three chords in front of thousands of people, the other plays thousands of chords in front of three people.
Two jazz guitarists meet in a bar, and one says, “Yeah man, I bought your last album, it was awesome!” to which the other replies, “Oh so that was you!”
Miscellaneous Guitar Jokes
Q: How many guitar players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: All of them. One to screw in the lightbulb and every other guitar player to tell them how they would have done it better.
Q: How do you get a guitarist to stop playing?
A: Put sheet music in from of them!
Q: How do you figure our who plays guitar at a party?
A: Don’t worry, they’ll tell you.
A child told his father, “When I grow up, I’m going to be a guitar player!”
His father responded, “Well son, you can’t do both.”
Billy has 4 guitars. Billy buys 2 more guitars.
Q: What does Billy have now?
A: Happiness. Billy has happiness!
Dracula finds a guitar at a party, “Anyvay, here’s Vondervall.”
Before You Leave…
If these jokes made you laugh, then I’ve met one of my goals! If you’re interested in learning to play guitar, then you can help me achieve my other goal of educating and inspiring beginning guitarists on their musical journey. Check out some of my introductory articles to help you on your path: